This House Ain't Big Enough For The Five of Us


I'm in such a vulnerable, and scary place. The scary is the unknown. It's what I can't see.

I so wish I could wake up in the morning and see the end of the rainbow and what lies in store for me and my family. But like all good things in life, I must wait.

Before I ramble on too long, let me share a bit of our conversations here.

We currently own a 900 sq ft., 2 bedroom condo. With the 2 kids we already have, we were able to make it work by giving them the master bedroom to share and taking the smaller room for ourselves. Now that baby number 3 is on the way, I don't even know where I would put the baby's clothes...let alone bottles, blankets, a swing, and all the other items that come along with it. So, we've decided to rent our home out so we can rent a house somewhere closer to the hubster's job.

For the time being, we'll be packing up our things and moving in with family. This will give us a window of time in which we can fix up the condo to rent, save up some money, and find the house that will be perfect for us.

Meanwhile...I'M PREGNANT! My brain can't wrap itself around this new baby and all the changes coming up. I want to know where we'll be and where our furniture will go. I want us settled in the house before the baby arrives and the end of this road is so fogged up that I can't see if that will happen.

We know this is the best move for us but I'm scared to death. Really. I had an emotional breakdown last night. "Overwhelmed" was the word that perfectly described what I was feeling.

The hubster is wonderful and talked me through everything. He reassured me and encouraged me. He even gave me permission to freak out. {You gotta love that.} I just needed to have a moment, I guess. I needed to get out the raw emotions so I could get my mind focussed and remind myself that my faith is what I need to rely on right now.

With the many questions I have and the many things I don't know, I know God has it all figured out. I need to trust in that completely.

When I was crying to myself last night, I wanted to listen to something uplifting. I turned on my J.J. Heller CD and just sat with it for a while. When I was done crying out to God, asking Him to give me a sign that would say we're doing the right thing, this song started playing. It's second verse, especially, is what spoke to me.



J.J. Heller ~ Back Home

Don’t let your eyes get used to darkness
The light is coming soon
Don’t let your heart get used to sadness
Put your hope in what is true

No matter how the wind may blow
It cannot shake the sun
Lay your sorrows on the ground
It’s time to come back home

When the future seems uncertain
Like the coming of a storm
Your loving Father carries his children
When they can’t walk anymore


No matter how the wind may blow
It cannot shake the sun
Lay your sorrows on the ground
It’s time to come back home

Oh, back home…

I feel better about things today and I'm taking a big, deep breath. Being in God's hands is right where I need to be and everything will work out. I know this is true.

I joked with my hubster that my blog may become a "barf bag" of sorts and I hope you don't mind. I want to be real. I want those who are facing uncertain times to know that they're not alone and be encouraged. Life isn't always easy and it doesn't always "look pretty". That's just the way it is...nevertheless, there is hope and in that hope, there is peace.

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