It's not the big dream I'm dreaming that's getting to me. Instead, it's the other plates I'm spinning that make me sit down and call everything into question. "What stays and what goes? Does something need to go? How am I supposed to decide?"
My heart turns to prayer. I ask God to make me decidedly excited for the things He has for me and uncomfortable with the things He would push me away from. And friends, I'm beginning to get uncomfortable.
Things I see others doing, opportunities others have received, things that would have made me jealous a couple weeks ago, they are beginning to go to war within me. These things are things I would love to do or be a part of and now I find myself frustrated by them and wanting them to leave me be...I think. And that's the battle, really. In a sense these things are things I still really want to do, but I'm beginning to feel more and more like I need to let them go.
How do I let them go?
Will I ever really be able to lay down my selfish ambition in exchange for the unknown destination that is God's plan? Oh, how I want to see what is real. How I want the glitter to be washed off the garbage can so I can see it for its filth. How I want to see the true light, the diamond in the rough, the mysterious treasure overlooked by masses of people who can't see its value.
I want my hands to be empty of myself so I have room to hold what He has for me. I want my eyes to clearly see the things that hinder me