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Friday, February 22, 2013

Repeat After Me: I Will Not Compare Myself To Others

It's so hard to be a mom and to NOT compare yourself to other moms. Very quickly, one may find herself with a shopping list that doesn't fit the budget for brands and items that aren't a true "need" but would help her keep up with the rest of the flock. It's a slippery slope and it's something I've struggled with on and off since I've become a mom myself.

Over the years, I've improved for certain. I've gotten out of the "brand" game and decided that whatever I think is best + whatever fits the budget = my reality. {Magic!} But there's still this nagging comparison that has lingered. I thought, perhaps if I vent my imperfections with you it would help.
  1. I don't cook organic meals for my family. It's a wonderful concept and I would do it if I could. The truth is, I can't afford to buy organic everything so I don't. It's hard enough dealing with finding lactose free items for my son, let alone feeding a whole family that way.
  2. I gave all three of my children formula at some point. They're healthy and normal kiddos and I did it with their best intentions in mind since I could never get the hang of breastfeeding long enough to make it through a year.
  3. I have to make myself leave my computer some days. It's an easy escape for me to hop on and dive into the facebook/pinterest/instagram of it all. This is something I've learned to harness but I could get a better handle on it.
  4. I am jealous of the moms who have the wardrobe I wish I could afford...for both myself and my kiddos. This is something I am too hard on myself about but it's real, nonetheless.
  5. I skip chores sometimes. I look at my list and decide I don't want to do it all, so I don't. That means I have a lazy side.
  6. As soon as I moved from the condo into the house, I gave up on cloth diapering. I had too much to adjust to and I didn't deem it to be as important as learning first how to take care of this great {as in large} space.

You see, my comparison monster has to do with how I parent and run my house more than anything else. If I hear some mom talking about some organic spread or this new thing she's trying for meal prep, I have a hard time sharing with her my enthusiasm for Taco Night and Pancakes for Dinner. Something in me believes she's better than me. It's not true.

Each mom is different and each has her own way of loving and raising her family. I can't guilt myself for not being someone else or not having the finances to afford the organic options of my favorite foods or the latest fashions. There's no shame in the fact that I am just ME and this is MY family. After all, the measuring stick isn't between one mom and another, it's between a mom and the family she's raising.

{The hubster tells me all the time that I'm doing a good job. ;)  }

Better yet...what about when I take who I am and look at myself the way God sees me? By doing that, all the silly comparison notes quickly fall by the wayside. HE loves me AS IS. Of course, He wants me to continue to become a better version of myself as I become more like Him. But He certainly doesn't want me to try and be like anyone else around me. I can admire someone and learn from them but I can't try to be who they are.

Do you struggle with comparison? What are some of the ways you learn to let that go?

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