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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Toddler Lost In Translation...

...and it's completely and utterly my fault. However, it is pretty hilarious how this all came to be.

Toddler's don't get lost all by themselves, you know.

Well, at least not in my home.

So, here's the story. Earlier this evening, Alex was having a hard time settling into bed. He kept wanting to get up and cause a ruckus when the hubster and I just wanted to watch (what turned out to be) a completely horrible movie. Is that too much to ask on a Friday night? I think not.

I decided enough was enough. So off I went to Alex's room to have a long talk about why obedience is important.

"Ah-HA!" I thought to myself. "I'll just see what his little Bible has to say about THIS."

I whipped open his little boy-themed Bible and found the first reference to the word "obedience".

"OK, buddy. The Bible is going to explain why listening to mommy and daddy is super important. Ready?"

Alex eagerly stared at me and waited for the story I was about to tell.

It turns out, his Bible seemed to think that using a war explanation was a great idea. I found myself reading things like "When you obey it's like being in an armored tank. You're safe in God's protection. But when you disobey, you're not in the tank and you're an open target."

I know. I KNOW. That makes NO sense if you have very little Bible knowledge and you're a 3 year old boy. I kept thinking to myself, "great! How in the world can I explain this?"

Alex chimed in. "It's a tank? Is it at the quarry?"

"Um. Sure, buddy. The tank could be at a quarry. The important thing is that you need to obey."

"But where is the tank, mommy? I don't see it."

"It's in your imagination, Alex. It's pretend. Get it?"

(I knew I was losing him so I decided to make the big point I was trying to make.)

"Alex, it's time for you to stay in bed and get some sleep. Until you fall asleep, you can tell your lion what the Bible says about obeying. 'If you listen to mommy and daddy, it will keep you safe.'"

"OK, mommy." (he turned to his lion and said) "Lion, the Bible says there's an imaginary tank that keeps us safe. If you're not in the tank, you're gonna get a boo-boo."

At this point, I just burst out with laughter.


I was trying to teach my son a real lesson about obedience. I wanted to teach him from the Bible. I think it's important enough to try and show him where I get my ideas and rules from.

I guess I just need to be sure to read what his Bible says before I read it to him as a lesson. That way, I can know what's coming up and maybe...just maybe...I can really teach him something someday.


P.S. After all of that, Alex STILL got out of his bed. The hubster decided to "put me on the bench" and he went to take care of Alex himself.  (Apparently they could hear me cracking up as they were supposed to be having a "serious chat.") The first thing Alex said when his dad came to put him to bed was, "There's a tank. It's in my imagination..." I missed the rest since I couldn't hear him over my own laughter.

Apparently, poor Alex wasn't feeling too safe since he couldn't see the tank and therefore couldn't possibly be safely inside of it. He was concerned he was going to get a boo-boo.

BAH-HA-HA-HA! What in the world have I done?

Have you ever completely failed at teaching a lesson?

I think I'm going to leave the Bible teaching to Sunday School and just back-up what they say. ;)



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