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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

You Know That "Struggle" I Mentioned?

I went to talk to my doctor about it today.

Here's the scoop. I have a lump in my throat. I can feel it constantly and it's almost as if I'm wearing a turtleneck that's a little too tight. I've been feeling exhausted at around 3 in the afternoon everyday, I've been having more frequent migraines, and I've been having dizzy spells. I'm not in any pain at all {thank goodness} but it certainly has been hard to be a stay at home mom to two busy kiddos when I have a low energy tank.

Today, my doctor had me schedule an ultrasound on my throat and took some blood for testing. If the ultrasound comes back normal, I'll be sent to an ear, nose, and throat specialist to have a scope put down my nose and get a look at the inside of my throat. When she has answers to what's causing this feeling, we'll talk about what we're going to do about it. {She does think it's all a bit weird and suspects the thyroid to be the culprit.}

So, what now?

Well, I wait. And pray. And trust God's plan.

The other night, I was drawn to studying my Bible and felt pulled toward the story of Moses. I've gotten 3 chapters into his story {Exodus 2-4} and I've already recognized a few things that I can take away from this study.

  • God has a {perfect} plan
  • God can do BIG things in ordinary people

What does this mean for me? It means I can sit a little easier. It means the waiting isn't torture. It means that no matter what the final diagnosis, I know who I am and where I'm going. My eyes are set upward. My hope is in the Lord. And no illness, "_itis", or "_ism" is going to take that from me.

Sure, I'm worried. I'm a mom of 2, beautiful children and I'm only 31. This is not "normal" and it's enough to concern my doctor. But I don't stop there. I don't let "worry" become my identity.

Life goes on.

I would love it if you would pray, though. Pray for my symptoms and for clear answers coupled with a flawless game plan to get me through this season. Pray for my husband and kiddos. Everyone here knows something isn't "right" with mom and I've had to explain to Alex that I'm just a little "sick" right now. Please pray that hope and faith will continue to be felt in this home. Pray for my that I'm a mom, I know how un-fun it is to have a child who doesn't feel well when I can't do a thing about it. Pray that God would fill their minds with peace.

Today is the first day of a journey for me and my family. I'm not sure how short or long, easy or difficult this will be but I do know that we're not going through this alone.



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