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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Time To Get Real ~ Soul Searching

I'm feeling awfully reflective lately. I want to be better. I want to be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and a better person.

I think that's what has inspired me to dig in my heals and "do" lately. I've gotten Eliana on a pretty good schedule for naps and feedings, I've worked diligently at getting Alex potty trained, and I've taken to a daily schedule of sorts to keep things from getting too crazy with him.

I've also tackled my prayer life. I've made sure to set aside time each morning to pray for the things weighing on my heart and mind. This is a wonderful way for me to start my day.

I realize being a better wife is something that I'll have to work at every day. I'll need to be mindful of the things the hubster needs and try my best to be supportive of him. I'm sure this is an ever-evolving process and I don't expect to be "perfect" at any point in time. I just want to be better is all.

And as for being a better friend? Well, I'm searching my soul on this one. I feel like I'm lacking something but I'm not sure what it is. I also feel like I've been thrown for a loop since Eliana came along. There was a time that I was stuck in my home because it's winter and I had a newborn. I feel like I missed out on a lot with my friends (both in real life and online). Now I'm on to juggling the 2 little loves of my life and trying to keep up with everyone else and feeling like I'm sinking.

Does this happen often? Is there a way to redeem myself and hang on to those friendships I cherish? Am I really doing something wrong as a friend?

These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. I know with time, prayer, and reflection I'll find the answers. In the meantime, I'm trying to breathe and not demand too much of myself. I'm trying to take it easy on myself and not get too emotional. (You know how girls can get. lol)

Have you ever dealt with these issues? How did you get to the other side of them?



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