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Monday, March 11, 2013

How I'm Facing Insecurity

There is this place inside every woman. From this place comes a whisper and in that whisper is a lie. The lie takes many forms and seems to hit at the lowest points or the highest points in life. Its aim is to tear down. Its goal is to make women feel shame and silence them. Once one lie is believed, another one comes along. On and on it goes until a woman is completely bound and stops fighting back.

Can you picture someone like that?

I see myself. I see myself surrounded in the lies of not being pretty enough, or thin enough, with the wrong kind of hair, an imperfect smile, and thus not deserving of the good things I have. That was me. Secretly comparing myself to friends and getting mad at how I just couldn't keep up, I struggled to be pretty until I admitted defeat and called myself "not pretty".

God knows how I've struggled with this since those awkward, junior high years. I was able to tailor it with time and maturity but it was still the same idea.

He tried to reach me so many ways, even through my husband who has spoken nothing but lovely, uplifting things to me, and I still wouldn't budge on what I believed about me.

And so, God surprised me. After I had gotten the hang of having two children to take care of, I found out I was pregnant with baby number three and I was thrown completely for a loop. My surprise baby...or as I chose to call her, my gift from God.

It was the most difficult pregnancy of the three I've had from beginning to end but when she was finally in my arms, I knew that I needed her. As I began to study her face, I couldn't shake the feeling that she looked so familiar. I felt like I had known her all my life.

That feeling continued for months before my dad brought me a picture one day. It was a picture of myself around my daughter's age at that time...and she looked just like me. "That is just eerie" I laughed. I couldn't believe the likeness I saw.

My daughter, she is the most beautiful thing. She has porcelain skin and little, golden curls that sweep across the back of her neck. She has these bright blue eyes that radiate love and joy and this smile that is beyond contagious. I call her "Joy Bear" and she has done me a world of good when it comes to shaking off a gloomy day.

But my beautiful daughter, my gift from God, she came to me to teach me trust in Him, and she came to me to show me how beautiful I am.


I am beautiful.

And if I find it hard to say those words with conviction, I need only to look at her perfect face. How can I criticize such artistry?

God has sent me a mirror like no other. It's a mirror that makes me stand up and tear off the lies I've wrapped around myself. It's a mirror that causes me to look into His eyes and accept his craftsmanship. He is the great creator and He makes NO mistakes.

And you. Whatever the lie is that you're believing. Whatever it is that you allow to keep you in bondage and keep you from being ALL of who you are supposed to be. Take those things to God and ask Him to show you what HE sees.

You are truly spectacular, a masterpiece and a one of a kind. Your unique qualities are spot on and you are amazing. He has something so incredible in mind just for you. Yes, JUST for you.

Seek Him and you will see what I mean.


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