Rain and a Prayer

I smell the rain outside as I hear it tapping the glass of my home's old windows. This rain, what it does to my mind and heart.

Earlier in the day, there was sun and warmth and outside playing. But then the rain began to fall and drew us back inside, forcing us to choose other things to do.

I remember being little. I smile and shake my head as I see myself wandering, dragging my toes behind me as I walked, looking for something to do. My shoulders slunked down and my head thrown back in exasperation as I whined to my mom "I'm bored! There's nothing to do!".

Oh, I was a dramatic one back then...

...I guess that's still a part of me today.

Grown up "rainy days" are now called depression. All of who I am is drawn within and I wrestle with that feeling of my body shutting down. "Don't hide. Don't go back to that corner." I tell myself.

But the rain...

Even the daffodils in the garden posture themselves downward, stems laying on the ground with blossoms face down in the dirt. The rain makes them weary that way. And me? I want to lay down too but my spirit keeps shaking me awake, begging me to stand and look up.

The rain pours itself down and the earth drinks it in, sometimes storing up a drink for later in puddle shapes. Then as the rain shares exchanges with the sun, the earth splits itself open and life begins to show itself. That life grows tall with bold colors and beautiful fragrances that fill the air.

Life comes from the rain!

These are the simple truths I cling to. God's care in nature is certainly second to the care with which He leads me in all my humanity. Matthew 6:26 rings true here: "Look at the birds...Are you not of more value than they?" The words of Jesus Himself fall appropriately beneath the heading "Do not be anxious".

Dear God,
Split my heart wide open that it may make way for life. Rain 1,000 times and then 1,000 more if that's what will wash away the deep dark and bring forth the rich and living shades of you and your love. I'm learning that the rains of life are not sorrowful, they're life giving, creating the rich and beautiful to cover the raw and exposed. That's the cover I crave. Hide my heart beneath your covering and not my own. 

Today, I stood in the rain with my face up to the sky and my hands held open...