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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Cry From Within

These words were used to describe a blogger who lived out her last days on earth reaching out to and encouraging others. In a 30 minute video describing her and her impact, these are the words - a 6 second contribution to the other 1800 seconds - that are changing me.

I've been pondering these words for months now.

I never visited Sarah's blog or experienced any sort of conversation with her. It's the words of those who knew her, though...these give me a glimpse into the heart of an incredible woman.

How can I live like that while being whole in body? How can I keep my eyes on Him and my feet on the ground with my hands reaching out to those around me? One foot firmly planted here and another foot firmly planted in heaven....

I began waking up early in the morning to meet with Jesus before I started my day. I had both my Bible and my coffee, the flesh and the spiritual needs to get me going. And as I've been faithful to this, I see living words on the page and I ask God to use those words to change me. I want to be remade every day. I want to cast off "Amy" and put on Jesus.

It all sounds big and spiritual even as I type it out. That's not what it is for me, though. It's in the simple. It's in the deciding not to lose my temper and choosing patience and grace instead. It's in not giving into insecurities, the lies that would hold me still, and believing that I'm created in HIS image. It's in listening, really listening to what people say...and hearing what they won't say...and being faithful to respect them and lift them up in prayer.

Every time I choose His way, responding how Christ would respond, my foot becomes a little more firmly planted in Heaven.

That's the key, I think. It's important to be a good steward of what I have here on earth but nothing matters if I don't keep the eternal goal in mind.

I tried to explain this to my husband and found myself frustrated. "I don't know. It's like I'm having an out of body experience. I see everything I have here and I realize my responsibility to it. But the 'bad' things that happen, I want to shrug them off in comparison to eternity. There's something bigger I need to focus on. There's a bigger mission I have..."

And so here I sit, constantly looking up. Constantly seeking out the bigger mission while untangling myself from the things that try and pull me down. In the end, I want to have lived in a way that makes Him say "Well done!" I want to have lived like Sarah did...even if only a little.


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