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Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts

Friday, May 24, 2013

Five Minute Friday

Today, I'm joining with some crazy, brave and inspiring women at the blog of Lisa Jo Baker. Each Friday she gives a prompt and with that prompt, writers write for 5 minutes with no second-guessing. Just writing what comes to them. Then, they share and encourage each other. What a great {and scary} idea. 

I'm joining in and challenging you to do the same! Today's prompt is "View"

Ready? Go!

It has continued to happen since the day God gave me His view of my life. Years ago He said, "You are like the butterfly" and since that day, I see them; a wink and a kiss from Him each time.

I hated the mess of my story, though I loved its redemption and God's blessing to set the deep contrast to the frigid dark. I told God about that once and that's when He told me I was like the butterfly. And I can see it plain as day, how the horrible circumstances and stories were the caterpillar years. I crawled on my belly against earth and limb. I was helpless yet not hopeless.

One day, God said "Enough" and I saw the years of abuse I had known, all by different people, come to a halt as he ended the chapter and began a new one where I would learn that "man" is not all bad.

The Chrysalis.

I hid myself in the words God spoke over me that built me up and encouraged me. I hid myself in the words this man spoke to me that said I was beautiful...really beautiful. I was all wrapped up in encouraging words, layers of "think on these things" covered me, and I was changing from the inside out.

The Butterfly.

I have found my wings and how I love to bounce in the breezes and rest on the flowers. Simple and joyful, my life in Him looks different than the dark and cold earth I used to cling to.

Today, I can be stopped at a traffic light and a butterfly will cross my windshield. In the yard with my kiddos, I will see butterflies of all sizes and colors make their way in and out of my fence line. And every time I see one, I smile and I thank my God for the redemption he brought to me as I learned to trust him and trust man all over again.

Delicately His and trusting Him with every new moment.




5 Minute Friday: View

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Friday, May 17, 2013

Five Minute Friday

Today, I'm joining with some crazy, brave and inspiring women at the blog of Lisa Jo Baker. Each Friday she gives a prompt and with that prompt, writers write for 5 minutes with no second-guessing. Just writing what comes to them. Then, they share and encourage each other. What a great {and scary} idea. 

I'm joining in and challenging you to do the same! Today's prompt is "Song"

Ready? Go!




From the time I was small, until the day I met my {now} husband, life had been almost impossibly difficult for me. When I was just 5 years old, abuse showed up in my life...except no one, not even I, knew that it was there. It was subtle...a slow, slow process. Subtle enough to fly under the radar.

I think now that my heart must have tuned in to what was happening, even if my brain hadn't caught up. I began to have nightmares. They didn't come all the time, but when they came they were the most horrible of dreams. I would wake up wailing and calling out for my mom.

She would show up.
She always did.

She would stroke my curly hair away from my face and sing. She would sing until that big, deep sigh would come to let her know I was relaxed. Then she would wash my face with a warm cloth and say to me "Now, let's paint a picture. Where do you want to meet Jesus?" Together, we would create this perfect scene and I would go back to sleep with a smile.

She had no idea, no clue that I was having nightmares because someone in my life was pure evil. If I would have known to say something, I would have. But she knew the song to sing and she knew to walk me to Jesus so I could rest. Perhaps if she did know, she wouldn't have handled it quite the same.

I needed those songs. And you know? I remember 2 times when heaven came right to me as a child. One night, I couldn't sleep and my mom prayed that the angels would sing me a lullaby. They did. My heart could hear an entire choir and they didn't sing a single word...they just let out a song in their voice. I think they always sing like that. Another time, I didn't call for anyone when I woke up. I just said the words "Jesus, let's paint a picture". The next morning I told my mom about how He came to me and I laughed with Him and He carried me on His shoulders.

A child in silent, no one knows about it abuse needed those songs. And today, I cry from the beauty of those moments. The times I can see God with me, even through the ugliest of circumstances. 

Always singing. Always with me.


5 Minute Friday: Song

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